Ernie: "OK Bert, I won't eat crackers in my bed -- I'm going to eat crackers in YOUR bed."
Ernie can't get to sleep, so Bert suggests counting things. Ernie tries counting fire engines - which are too loud, sheep, which baaa, and also keep Bert awake. Bert suggests counting balloons which are nice and quite, so Ernie imagines a balloon until it pops very loudly, and says "one".
Bert is trying to sleep but a dripping faucet is keeping him awake. So Ernie gets up and turns on the radio so Bert won't hear the faucet. Soon Bert tells Ernie the radio is keeping me awake, so the hoover is switched on ...and so it continues... Bert finally gets up and turns everything off, only to return to the bedroom, finding a snoring Ernie.
Ernie was having nightmares and Bert told him to think of good things. Ernie thinks red balloons are a good thought, and imagines them falling all over Sesame Street.
Ernie phones Bert in middle of night to say he can't sleep... "count sheep?" ... "He always says that"...
Bert was thinking he would finally get a decent night's sleep, but Ernie phones...
Ernie & Bert are going to sleep, and Ernie asks Bert to get him a drink of water
Ernie wakes up in the middle of the night, and doesn't know what time it is, so he sticks his head out the window and starts SINGING until someone yells out the time (as in, "For crying out loud, it's 3 am!")
Bert's trying to sleep and Ernie is looking out the window and trying to pursuade Bert to get up and look, too.
E- Hey Bert, it's dark out
B- Of course it's dark out, Ernie, it's night time.
E- No! But Bert! It's *reeally* dark out, like there's a blackout or
This repeats until (naturally) Ernie cons Bert out of bed to come look and as Bert becomes riled up, Ernie says, "Well, G'night"
Bert is getting ready for bed, he explains that Ernie is away, sleeping over at The Count's house. He has a grey blanket on his bed and just as he is trying to get off to sleep the bedroom door opens and in come a flock of sheep. They sing him a song about where the wool for his blanket comes from and how it gets to the factory, but that's all they know about. Bert then explains to them (in a song) how the wool gets spun into thread, made into a blanket and taken to a store, where someone sees it and knows it is the grey blanket of their dreams. Bert really enjoys himself and since it's late invites the sheep to sleep over in Ernie's bed, the sheep inevitably get it wrong and all pile into Bert's bed.
Ernie gets no sleep because the Count kept counting all night. I think Bert slept on the couch. Ernie comes out of the room, shambling like a zombie mumbling blankly, "Five thousand three hundred and twenty one...sheep." and promptly collapses to the floor.
Ernie is messing with the radio (demonstrating loud & soft), and Bert gets annoyed, so Ernie takes the volume knob off the radio, puts it on Bert, and turns him down.
Bert is sitting in the armchair reading a book and doesn't want to play tag, but Ernie decides to play tag anyway, peering around the chair tagging Bert and saying "Bert's it!" at various volumes.
Ernie sculpts a bust of Bert but it's missing a nose so he pulls Bert's nose off his face to use.
"Ernie, you've got a banana in your ear." "I'm sorry Bert. I can't hear you cause I've got this banana in my ear."
"My old buddy Bert might be asleep but I'll check just to make sure....Poke, poke, poke!"
Bert gets angry at Ernie for playing with a fan, and says he is hot and bothered. So, Ernie turns on the fan to cool him off.
Bert is trying to listen to "Pigeons in the News", but Ernie and the Sesame Street Citizens Band are practicing outside the apartment. They try practicing quieter, but not quiet enough for Bert's liking. Bert says they can practice anywhere except outside the apartment. So Ernie and crew decide to practice INSIDE the apartment!
Ernie notices their shares are not equal so he eats a little bit the larger piece but eats too much so he has to even out the ohter one... anyway, Ernie eats most of it trying to even the shares out and Bert doesn't get much
Where Ernie eats one of Bert's five cookies, and Bert says he doesn't want to see four cookies on the plate so Ernie eats another one!
Ernie has some jellybeans and says he's going to divide them up with Bert. Ernie counts out "One for you, one for me..."etc. etc. Bert ends up with one more and says "Gee thanks, Ernie." But Ernie eats the extra jellybean to make it fair.
Ernie was sold an invisible ice cream cone. Ernie paid for it with an invisible nickel.
Ernie stacks these teacups and saucers on top of each other, and Bert has a fit, and all the while, ernie had glued them together!
Ernie builds a pyramid of blocks (6 of them), and he asks Bert to keep an eye on them while he gets his camera. When he's gone, the Count comes in and tries to count the blocks, but the only way he can is to move them so he doesn't count any block twice. Bert tries to stop him but get "whammied" by the Count. Count exits after counting. Ernie returns and sees his pyramid ruined, and Bert tries to explain. The Count returns and wants to count the blocks again. Bert tries to lecture him, gets "whammied" again. This time, the Count rebuilds the pyramid during his counting. Bert tells Count not to touch other people's stuff; to leave things as he found them. Count disassembles pyramid again. Bert: "Well, I sure told HIM a thing or two!" Ernie: "Yeah, but Bert . . . (Points at disassembled pyramid. Bert realizes what happened.)
Bert is in bed while Ernie tries to figure out who in the neighborhood has a cold. ("Ernie, can you get me some juice?" "Bert, how can I find out who's sick when you keep interrupting me?"
Bert goes out to mail a letter while Ernie plays the drums. Bert returns and knocks on the door and Ernie has a blast echoing the rhythms rather than answering the door
Ernie comes along, and is amazed that Bert was able to teach Bernice how to play, and that she must be a very smart pigeon. To which Bert reply's that she is in fact not very smart, because she only beat him twice in ten games.
B: What happened today, Ernie?
B: I'm sorry to hear that...but wait, weren't you at the
zoo today? Things are always happening at the zoo.
E: Not today, Bert. (looks at finger) Well, there was
one thing. See, got this teeny, tiny scratch on my
B: That's too bad. How did that happen?
E: I think it must have happened when I fell down.
B: But how did you happen to fall down?
E: I think it was when I was running away from the big dog.
B: But why waas a big dog chasing you?
E: Well, he wasn't, Bert. You see, I _thought_ he was,
but actually he was running away from the tiger.
B: The tiger?! What was the tiger doing out of its cage?
E: The monkey let it out.
B: But what was the monkey doing out of its cage?
E: Well, I think it got out when I opened the door of its
cage to put the rabbit in.
B: But why were you putting the rabbit in the monkey's
E: Well, with all the elephants running around, I was
afraid it would get stepped on.
B: Why were the elephants out of their cages?!
E: The hippopotamuses were out, why not the elephants?
B: But how did the hippopotamuses get out?
E: Well, I didn't see it, Bert, but I think it was when
the bus crashed into their cage.
B: Why would a bus crash into the hippopotamus cage?
E: The driver couldn't see because of the lights, Bert.
B: What lights?!!
E: From the flying saucer.
B: Ernie, you said nothing happened at the zoo today!!!!
E: Well, I thought so, Bert, but I was wrong.
B: I'll say you were wrong!!!!
E: Yeah. See, I got this teeny, tiny scratch on my finger
Ernie takes all his belongings into the bathtub with him: his rubber duckie, his umbrella, his flashlight, his bowling ball. Bert asks him " WHY are you taking all those things into the bathtub?" Ernie: "In case it rains, there's a blackout, or someone needs to borrow my bowling ball." Of course, Bert comes into the bathroom to see Ernie in the bathtub with all this stuff ...and while he is there, it begins to rain, then there is a blackout, and then there is a knock at the door, and one of Ernie's friends asks if he can borrow Ernie's bowling ball!
Bert and Ernie are in a movie theater, and there's a woman sitting in front of Ernie w/ a tall hat on. Ernie can't see, so Bert tells him to ask the woman to take her hat off. He does, and so she does, and places it on the seat next to her, which is in front of Bert. Now the hat is in front of him, and _he_ can't see.
Ernie and Bert are on a rowboat fishing. Bert is having trouble fishing, and asks Ernie for help. Ernie has no trouble, he just calls the fish:
HEEEEEEEEEERE FISHY FISHY FIIISHY FIIIISSHHHYYYYY!!
Bert tries this method, but it doesn't work. Ernie tells him he's not doing it loud enough. Eventually Bert succeeds, and catchs a small shark.
they discover statues that closely resemble each other inside a pyramid. The Ernie statue taps, talks to, and sings with Ernie, but Bert thinks it is Ernie's imagination - until they are about to leave.
they invent a window so that they wouldn't have to walk outside to see what the weather was like.
Ernie tells big tough guy Bert will be mad about knocking over Bert's sandcastle
E: Hey Bert, want to play a game?
B: Oh, no, Ernie, not one of your meatball games.
E: No, Bert, it's not a meatball game. It goes like this:
One day I was walking down the street and I saw a
sandbox. I "one" the sandbox.
B: I don't understand.
E: So you say, "I two the sandbox, Bert.
B: OK, I "two" the sandbox.
E: I "three" the sandbox.
B: I "four" the sandbox.
E: I "five" the sandbox.
B: I six the sandbox.
E: I seven the sandbox. (hee hee)
B: And I eight the sandbox.
E: YOU ATE THE SANDBOX?!?! HOW DID IT TASTE?
Similar to the sandbox sketch. Ernie tricks Bert into saying
"10 Q! 10 Q!"
"Oh, your welcome, your welcome, Bert"
Bert: (something about not wanting to play the game)
Ernie: Maybe not, Bert, but you'll do it all the same!
Bert: Now come on, Ernie, cut this out.
Ernie: Easy, old buddy, no need to shout.
Bert: I just wanna sit and read my book.
Ernie: With ears you hear, and with eyes you look.
Bert: I don't wanna play a game with rhymes.
Ernie: Nice goin', Bert, I'll ring my chimes.
Bert: I don't wanna do it!
Ernie: There's really nothing to it!
Bert: This is silly!
Ernie: A boy named Billy!
Bert: Stop it, please!
Ernie: A dog has fleas!
Bert: Okay, okay, I give up.
Ernie: Eat from a plate and drink from a cup!
Bert: I guess I'll just have to play along.
Ernie: It plays like a game and sings like a song!
Bert: This game is really kinda kicky!
Ernie: Sugar's sweet and glue is sticky!
Bert: HEY! Water is wet and dust is dry!
Ernie: Dog's gotta walk and bird's gotta fly!
Bert: It's a great kind of game to play with a friend!
Ernie: And now old buddy, we've come to an end.
Bert: (pants) You're right--you're right, Ernie, that's a great game!
Ernie: Bert, I think I'm going to go read a book now. [exit]
Bert:[turns to lamp] Hey there, lamp that's a nice shade!
(puts his hand to his head and shakes it)
It's not the same.
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